Tuesday, December 31, 2024

December News and 2024 Roundup


Happy New Years, friends! This year was not my most productive year. If you weren't already aware, my ever-present health issues have become more debilitating. I am no longer able to work. Over the Thanksgiving holiday, I spent a week in the hospital and am still slowly, slowly convalesceing. Right now, I pretty much spend all my time either sleeping or zoned out on the couch. I am trying to be patient with myself, and hope that I may do a bit more writing in 2025. 

I hate to rattle my little tin cup, but my hospital bills are starting to come in. So far, they are about $2,000. Please consider donating to help us pay them. Any little bit helps. 


DECEMBER NEWS


In December, I released Part 4 of my new dark fantasy romance series, In the King's Power. It's free to read on Kindle Unlimited, $1.99 to purchase

Part 5 will drop tomorrow, January 1. An excerpt is available to read here. It will be free to read on Kindle Unlimited as well, and $3.99 to purchase. 


2024 ROUNDUP


Honors


I had four poems nominated for a Rhysling Award: "Below the Bible Belt," "Little Brown Changeling," "The Two of Coins," and "When the Honeymoon is Over." "Little Brown Changeling," was awarded first place. 



My poetry collection, Moonlight and Monsters, was nominated for an Elgin Award.



And finally, my short story, "Feather and Scale," made the Top 50 in the Roadmap Writers Short Story Competition. 


Publications

I had 11 pieces published across six literary venues. I blurbed 500 Hidden Teeth, a new poetry collection by Scott Ferry. I did a book signing at the AWP Conference, which was in my hometown this year, and was a featured author on the Muse's Mic literary series. Additionally, I published three books:



Thank you so much to my readers and supporters - wishing you all a safe and happy 2025!




Wednesday, December 11, 2024

In the King's Power - Part 5 Cover Art and Excerpt

Folks, I'm not gonna lie. This is my favorite part of the series, and I am so excited to share it with all of you. If you love it half as much as I do, I can die happy.


Part 5 of In the King's Power will drop on Amazon January 1, $3.99 to purchase, free on Kindle Unlimited. Check out the rest of the series on Amazon here. Bonus excerpts are available here on my blog - access them from the series overview


SYNOPSIS

Leo and Christophe are growing up and experiencing the initial pangs of adolescence, which leads to Christophe getting into some serious trouble. His punishment sends shockwaves through the royal household that impacts the rest of the summer, if not the rest of their lives. The family’s annual holiday to Auroch is more eventful than usual when James decides to come along.

In the fall, the arranged marriage takes place. James’ scheme is revealed, and it’s more diabolical than anyone could have imagined.


EXCERPT

Then came time for the annual trip to Auroch. The evening before they were scheduled to depart, Henri and Geoff were discussing some last-minute preparations at dinner, when out of nowhere, James said, “You know, I think I might join you.”

Henri and Geoff broke off. “Join us?” Henri echoed.

James looked at his son, apparently wounded. “Well, only if I’d be welcome--”

“Of course you’d be welcome, Father,” Henri said quickly. “We’re just surprised, is all. You’ve never come with us before.”

“I think a bit of fresh air would do me good.”

“I’m sorry, just—help me to understand this. Was it not you who always referred to the Parthenaises as our ‘poor country relations,’ and to Fermin as ‘the hillbilly duke,’ or am I thinking of someone else?”

“If you don’t want me to come, just say so.”

“No one is saying that.” Henri and Geoff exchanged another look. They both knew very well why James wanted to come. Endymion had been gone now for over a month, with no sign of coming back. When the rest of them departed for Auroch, James would be left alone at Four Mothers. “I would just hate to see you go someplace where you will not enjoy yourself.”

“Why wouldn’t I enjoy myself? I like a good hunt as much as the next man.”

“You know it will mean a procession and you hate processions.”

“I’m aware of that.”

Geoff, sensing the impending argument, spoke quickly. “I’ll see to the arrangements, Your Wisdom.”


* * *


The Parthenais family gathered outside the gates to await their guests’ arrival, as they always did. They were stunned to see the King arrive first on his crimson stallion.

“Your Wisdom!” Fermin cried. He dropped to one knee and everyone else immediately followed suit.

Alyssa had ridden in beside the King. Rainier was not hard to spot, standing right up front with his father and grandfather. Their eyes met for an instant before he, too, knelt.

James dismounted. “Arise, all of you.” Turning to Alyssa, he helped her down from her horse.

Fermin gave James a deep bow. “Your Wisdom, you honor us.”

“Cousin, it’s been too long since I paid you a visit,” James returned. Seeing the two men side-by-side, it was hard to believe they were about the same age—Fermin looked old enough to be James’ father. Fermin was in good shape, but he was unmistakably in his seventies.

As Fermin straightened up, he paused, thrown at the sight of James’ hand still resting on the small of Alyssa’s back. “Ah… I’m afraid you caught us unawares, Your Wisdom. I hope you’ll forgive us if the accommodations are not quite up to your usual—”

James waved off the duke’s concerns. “Please, Fermin, we’re family. I’m here to hunt and make camp right along with the rest of you, so don’t trouble yourself.” He looked up at the castle nestled into the mountainside. “Turns is exactly as I remember it.”

Fermin inclined his head. “Turns is yours, Your Wisdom.”

The others had dismounted and joined them. “Fermin, Arcadios!” Henri said jovially, trying to lighten the atmosphere. “So good to see you!”

Fermin’s relief was palpable. “And you, cousin. But who is this? This can’t be Leopold! Look at you, lad! Damn me, if you haven’t sprung up since I saw you last! How tall are you now?” He ruffled Leo’s hair, pulled him into a rough embrace. Then he held him at arm’s length, looking into Leo’s face. “Your Wisdom, I tell you, this boy grows more and more like you every time I see him!”

James liked that, pulling Leo proudly against his other side in a one-armed hug.

“Uncle,” Leo said, “you remember my fiancĂ©e, Miss Calderon?”

“Of course, of course, who could forget so lovely a mademoiselle?” Fermin bent over Alyssa’s hand. She smiled and looked down, mainly because she really didn’t have anything to say to this blowhard and it was considered a perfectly acceptable response for a modest Corbenese girl. Fermin peered at her. “Finally tamed this one, have you? No more climbing trees or roughhousing with the boys for you, eh, missy?”

Alyssa didn’t raise her head, but James said, “Oh no, not tame. But nothing proper men can’t handle.”

Fermin feigned laughter and went on down the line, “Geoff, always glad to see you, lad.”

Geoff laughed. “Listen to that! ‘Lad’ he still calls me.”

Without missing a beat, Fermin said, “You’ll always be a lad to me, boy. Compared to me, that’s what you are. And here’s Christophe. Going to bag us another elk this year?”

After all the pleasantries had been exchanged, some of Leo’s younger cousins ran up, eager to drag him and Christophe off to the woods. Leo and Christophe hesitated, looking at Alyssa, who, in turn, looked at James.

The King chuckled. “You see, Fermin?” he grabbed Alyssa’s jaw, squeezed her cheeks. “She knows who her master is.” Releasing her, he nodded for her to go.

Leo took her hand and, together, they hurried away.

Friday, November 29, 2024

November News

I don't actually have any news this month. If you didn't see my blog post earlier this month, I have been having major health problems. My husband took me to the emergency room the day after the election. The rest of the month has been kind of a blur. I had to go back to the emergency room the week before Thanksgiving and was admitted. I am not actually well, just stable. They sent me home with eleven prescriptions and a whole slew of follow-up appointments over the next few months. This month -- hell, the whole past year -- has been a perfect storm of suck. I'm exhausted and in a lot of pain, but I am hoping to get back into writing and submitting work again. Progress so far has been slow. 

I am no longer able to work, so I must humbly ask that you consider donating to help me out, especially with the medical expenses. I don't even want to think about what the initial emergency room visit plus a week's inpatient stay is going to run us. 

Aside from releasing Part 3 of the In the King's Power series, my only other major news is to say that I'm happy to see Bluesky booming. I moved to the platform back when Musk first bought Twitter, but it wasn't very active. You can find me @laurenscharhag.bsky.social -- I'd be thrilled to connect. 


My only other bit of news is to say that Part 4 of In the King's Power will go live on Sunday. An excerpt is available here

I was actually released from the hospital on Thanksgiving, so Patrick and I hit Whataburger then went home and watched Planes, Trains and Automobiles, as one does. For those who celebrate, I hope your Turkey Day was an excellent kickoff to the holiday season. I will post an excerpt from Part 5 of the series around mid-December. I am especially excited to share it since it's my favorite part of the series-- a lot of cool stuff happens. I am grateful for all my friends and readers-- truly, you, Patrick, and writing are what will pull me through this. Thank you. 



Tuesday, November 12, 2024

It's going to be a long damn apocalypse.


Guys, I keep meaning to update everybody, and I’ve kept putting it off, so now I don’t even know where to start. I’ve been struggling with my own thoughts and reactions to everything. It’s a lot, so if you don’t want to read it all, I get it. Then we elected an orange Nazi­ to the White House and empowered his merry band of psychos, so there’s that.
 
TLDR: I am so fucked. We are all so fucked, so I feel bad about mentioning my situation specifically, but I can’t afford to be proud. If you could possibly bring yourself to donate a few bucks to help keep my bills and especially my medical bills paid, I would be much obliged. I have added a donate tab to this blog and a link on LinkTree.
 
But before I get to my (literal) bellyaching, let me say this about the political situation-- I know. I get it. I am as outraged and horrified and disgusted as the rest of you. But our despair is what they want. Broken spirits and broken wills are the goal. Broken people are easier to dominate. They don't fight back. We have to fight back. We have to continue to care for ourselves and each other, now more than ever. We define ourselves and our communities. Find your community. Build it, if you have to. Make it a sanctuary for yourself and for those who need it. American individualism is yet another thing that keeps us divided, cut off from each other, as if humans are not social animals. But we are, and if we lean into that, we could help each other thrive.
 
Racism and xenophobia are also the order of the day, even though America’s strength has always been its immigrants. My great-great-grandmother survived poverty, war, plague, immigration, and racism. She lost seven children and her husband to a typhus outbreak on the eve of the Mexican Revolution. She packed up the remaining family members and came all the way here, to the Midwest, from Michoacan. I have no idea how she made that trek, but she did.
 
They thrived. So can I. So can we.
 
We have to stay kind and compassionate - and no, I’m not saying be kind to bigoted pieces of shit. I have seen that paradox of tolerance post on about a hundred social media accounts, so you all know what I mean by that. I’m not saying that we should be naive, or doormats. I’m saying care for your community. We need each other. They can't take my kindness away. They can't stop me from caring about my fellow humans. That might mean fighting to defend the vulnerable. In our society, selflessness is a radical act. Selflessness, joy, optimism, compassion, empathy-- all radical. Be radical.

I may not have much, but what I have, I will share with those who need it.
 
I don't have any physical strength, but I will fight for those who cannot fight for themselves.
 
Don't let them take your joy away. Find it wherever you can. Share it. We only get one shot at this life.  Don’t spend it despairing.

As someone with multiple, severe, disabling conditions, let me tell you – I have to triage every day. On a good day, my time and energy are EXTREMELY limited. I have to choose wisely where I expend that time and energy. I advise everyone to do the same now. We don’t have time to fuck around.
 
Now. On to my personal problems. Sorry.


CW: suicidal thoughts and unpleasant medical oversharing. No medical advice, please and thank you. Whatever you’ve got, I guarantee, I’ve heard of it. If I haven’t already tried it, there’s a good reason.
 
Last Wednesday, Patrick had to take me to the emergency room. I’ve had some pretty apocalyptic migraines over the course of my life. More than once, I have lain in a dark room and wondered if I was dying, having a stroke, having a seizure, or some combination thereof. The one I had last Wednesday definitely made my Top 10. It felt like someone had rammed a railroad spike in my left eye, and another one through the top left quadrant of my skull. I wanted to die. I wanted to bang my head against the wall. Emergency room doctors have given me morphine before, and that’s what I was hoping for-- if I can’t be dead, unconsciousness is the next best thing. But I also started throwing up. I’ve had migraines make me throw up before, but that’s not the norm for me. And I just kept throwing up. Uncontrollably. On the way to the hospital, Patrick had to stop several times so I could jump out and puke, and I still puked in the car. And on myself. Nothing like showing up at the ER with chunks on your shirt, eh?
 
The emergency room was packed. We ended up having to wait 2.5 hours to be seen. Emergency rooms are bright and loud. I had a plastic barf bag and sat there yakking in front of 50 or so people. I snapped at the teenager sitting next to me for drumming his feet on the floor. The doc ordered a CT scan of my abdomen and it turns out I have acute colitis, which often presents with a headache.
 
I have never been healthy. I am what the medical establishment calls a “complex” patient. I’ve always had multiple, major chronic health issues. I have weird allergies. I don’t tolerate most pharmaceuticals well– if there’s some god-awful side effect, I will probably have it. When the ER doctor asked me what conditions I have, I was like, “Uh, it would actually be shorter to tell you what ISN’T a problem. My heart. I think my heart is pretty much the only thing that functions properly. And maybe my bones. As far as I know, my bones are sound.”
 
Over the past four years, the health situation has become really untenable. My migraines have become almost constant. Last month, I had 24 migraine days. I experience vestibular attacks, which give me intense vertigo and nausea. It’s started to affect my balance, so now sometimes, I need a cane. It’s causing severe motion sickness so that I can barely ride in a car, let alone drive. I have started experiencing Alice in Wonderland Syndrome, which causes size and spatial distortion, so I have almost fallen down the steps a few times, among other challenges. The migraines cause hallucinations, mood swings, insomnia.
 
Two years ago, I was diagnosed with gastroparesis, which means my body does not digest food properly. It causes vomiting attacks, as well as early satiety and acid reflux. It is also associated with dysautonomia, which I also seem to have. In my case, my body can’t regulate temperature, so I frequently get intense hot flashes that make me red-faced and sweaty. I can’t wear sweaters or long sleeves anymore. I can’t use makeup because it just becomes a mudslide. Any little exertion makes me absolutely gross. Summer is torture.
 
I take an antidepressant that causes insomnia. I use medical marijuana for nausea and motion sickness, but it has killed my short-term memory. I often forget what I was saying mid-sentence.
 
When I was younger, I was able to shake off migraines to a degree. Now, they put me out of commission for at least three days. Between them and the stomach issues, I never get a chance to recover. At best, I am only ever operating at 50%.
 
Last February, my doctor put me on a new medication. It gave me hives for four days. I am allergic to Benadryl, so there wasn’t much to be done about it. I had never had hives for multiple days. I had them from my scalp down to the soles of my feet. The itching was so terrible, I wanted to throw myself off a building. I scratched myself bloody.
 
The only thing that has allowed me to keep a job these past six years was being able to work from home, and even then, I was struggling. Last July, I was knocked down to part-time. Not because I’m sick all the time, but because we got new management and underwent massive restructuring. I was relieved, but worried– would we be able to afford my salary being cut in half? I applied for dozens of jobs, went on five or six interviews, and didn’t get hired anywhere. But I was so freaked out– if someone DID hire me, everything has gone back to in-office. How would I get there every day? Would I be able to make it through any probationary periods without getting fired for absenteeism?
 
So. Can’t drive. Can’t travel. I’m pretty much a shut-in. I never go anywhere or do anything. It’s impossible to make plans because I never know how I’m going to be feeling from day to day. My diet is highly restricted. I often can’t sleep. I have poor concentration and retention. My job situation had become very precarious. You probably will not be surprised to hear that I became very depressed, despite the meds. I very seriously considered suicide because I am quite literally worth more dead than alive. I am tired of being in pain. I am tired of watching my life, which was already so limited, get smaller and narrower with each passing year. I researched methods. The only reason I didn’t go through with it was because, with my luck, something would go wrong and I would just end up a vegetable or something, and that’s the only thing worse than my current situation.
 
Once the restructuring at my job was complete, I had a new supervisor, and was assigned to a grant project. It was going to be a lot more work and a lot of pressure with no extra pay– basically, they wanted management-level work for secretarial pay. The new management was pushing for everyone to return to the office.
 
No thank you.
 
So I quit. I don’t have many good days anymore, and I don’t want to spend them in a job that I don’t especially like, and one that criminally underpays me. And here I am. Unemployed and unemployable. Still sick, exhausted, and on antibiotics, Zofran and weed. Colitis can last anywhere from a few days to four weeks, depending on the severity of the infection.
 
Trump is in office. I don’t even know what to say. Life just keeps kicking me in the nards and I’m not sure I can keep getting up. I quit my job just over a month ago, and I still haven’t fully processed and decompressed.
 
This is only scratching the surface of the suck. I have a whole catalog of other health issues. My laptop died last week. I just found out my primary care doctor quit the practice, so now I have to either track her down wherever she went, or find a new doctor. Our entire plumbing system had to be replaced last summer, which means a hefty loan payment every month, on top of my student loans and our grossly inflated mortgage. I can barely perform day-to-day tasks like cooking, cleaning or even showering regularly. We’ve had a housekeeper and a lawn service, but now that I can’t work, that’s over. My parents came over the other day to tidy up and do some laundry and it’s so, so demoralizing to be a grown-ass adult who needs Mommy to come over and change my sheets.
 
I know it seems like I’m a prolific writer, but pretty much everything you’ve seen get published over the past two years was written before 2022. I have only written a handful of poems since then and very little else.
 
I’m sorry to be such a downer, but I needed to get this off my chest. I will be applying for disability, but if you know anything about disability in the US, then you know people pretty much get rejected on the first try. It can take years to get approved, if at all.
 
Today was the first day I have felt a bit better. Since the election, I have frantically been collecting every happy/comforting TV show and film I can think of and mainlining them like a Community and Ted Lasso-lovin’ methhead. I’ve been listening and singing along to music. Art has always been my salvation. It will always be my salvation, my life jacket. I will make and consume art until I drop dead.
 
Find your salvation. Find your life jacket and strap it on. It’s going to be a long damn apocalypse.

­








































Monday, November 11, 2024

In the King's Power - Part 4 Cover Art and Excerpt

I apologize for the delay in updates for In the King's Power. I landed in the emergency room last week, so I did not share the formal announcement that Part 3 is now available on Amazon for $1.99. (I realized as I prepared the ebooks for publication that Parts 3 and 4 are quite short, so it seemed unfair to charge $3.99 for them, as I had initially planned.) 

The cover art and excerpt for Part 4 is below. It will go live on December 1, free on Kindle Unlimited, $1.99 to purchase.


SYNOPSIS

Alyssa's birthday celebration is filled with bittersweet moments. Four nobles hatch a plot to strike at the King, which bring's Alyssa and James' sort-of friendship to an end.


EXCERPT

James did not return to Alyssa’s room for four days. On the fourth night, he showed up drunk.

She was in the music room with her headphones on when he staggered in and dropped into a chair, bottle in hand. “Dym says I’m in love with you. What do you think?”

She took the headphones off. “I don’t think you know how to love, James.”

“Of course I do. I love my son. I love my grandson—”

“No, you don’t. You only love certain qualities in them—the ones that remind you of you. That’s not love, it’s ego.”

Closing his eyes, James shook his head. “Vicious.”

“If you knew what loving someone felt like, you wouldn’t have to ask me.”

“Do you love me?”

Alyssa made an exasperated noise. “That’s it. I’m cutting you off.” She got up and tried to take the bottle away from him. They wrestled for it. The next thing she knew, she was flat on her back on the floor, his weight on top of her.

His eyes were bloodshot, his breath hot in her face. “Answer the question. Do you love me?”

“I’m your prisoner.”

“So, what? If a man sees a woman he wants, he may take her. If he can keep her, she’s his. And I’ve kept you.”

She shook her head violently.

“Say it. Say it, damn you!”

You say it,” she spat. “But you can’t. You can’t. Why would I give my affections to a monster like you?”

Sighing, he rolled off her. “Lying to yourself.”

They lay side-by-side, looking up at the ceiling. “If you know everything, what do you need me for?” she asked.

“Why would you be working so hard to avoid the question, unless the answer was yes?”

“I gave you an answer. I don’t do well with captivity. I told you about that guy I tried to eighty-six that time.”

“You may have left the Dormitory, but you stayed with the Order. You must have loved something about it.”

That’s your argument? If I’m going to be abused, I might as well be abused by you?”

“Everyone’s a slave to something.”

“You’re not.”

“The hell I’m not! I’m chained to this place—to Corbenic, to Four Mothers, to these people, and to my father before that. You’ve been here nearly a year. Did you somehow fail to notice that I’m—” he broke off.

She waited to see if he would actually say it, that he was miserable, that he was lonely. But he didn’t. He just sat up, scrubbed at his face with his hands. When he spoke again, his voice was low. “It’s not just Endymion. Henri said it, too. I’ve killed men before, as you well know. In duels, yes. In war, certainly. And my father—just as you said. But never with my bare hands. I know you’ll never believe it, but it was for you. I’ve never done that for anyone—not Endymion, not my wife. Only for you.”


Tuesday, October 29, 2024

October News

AWARD


You guys! My poem, "Little Brown Changeling," won first place for this year's Rhysling Awards - long form category. I am especially moved because this poem is about our little brown changeling, Otter, now dearly departed. (I am a crazy cat lady from way back.) She's been gone four years now, and is still bringing magic into our lives. BIG, BIG thanks to the judges and to the person who nominated this poem. To celebrate, I am going to go hug all my resident fur babies. Please go hug yours. It was originally published in Aphelion.


The little brown changeling in question

 
PUBLICATION


The SFPA has an annual Halloween reading - this year, my poem, "The Ghost Forest" was included. All poems are audio recorded, so please have a listen and Happy Halloween to all who celebrate!

 
APPEARANCE


If you missed my interview on Muse's Mic, here is the recording. Thanks again to James and Sandy for being such excellent hosts. 


COMING SOON

 
In the King’s Power - Part 3 will be dropping on November 1. 

Parts 1 and 2 are already live on Amazon. For bonus excerpts, check out the series overview here on this blog.   


OTHER STUFF

Halloween season isn't quite over yet! Don't forget my short horror story collection, Screaming Intensifies from Whiskey City Press. 
I still have a few copies, so if you'd like yours autographed, hit me up

I also still have copies of most of my poetry books, so please feel free to order those from me as well.




 

Tuesday, October 15, 2024

In the King's Power - Part 3 Cover Art and Excerpt


Part 3 of In the King's Power will go live on November 1. I had originally planned to charge $3.99 for each section, but I realized that some of them are on the shorter side - Part 3 is one of those. It's only about 50 pages, so I will keep it at $1.99 to purchase, free for Kindle Unlimited subscribers.

If you haven't checked out this new dark fantasy romance series, swing by the overview page. There are synopses for the sections that have dropped so far, links to the excerpts, and prices. 


SYNOPSIS

A bad winter has struck the capital. Thia is sneaking around, trying to find members of the underground organization known as the Red Garters so she can join them, which puts a strain on her relationship with Henri. James and Alyssa come to an uneasy truce that they both know can’t last. 


EXCERPT

James let himself into the girl’s chambers. Sometimes, unbeknownst to her, all he wanted was to watch her sleep. Taking a chair beside her bed, he opened a bottle of wine. She didn’t stir, though it didn’t look as if she were having a particularly restful night. The bedding was quite rumpled from where she’d tossed and turned. Usually, she slept on her side, but at the moment, she was sprawled on her back, one arm thrown out, one leg folded beneath her, hair tangled on the pillow. She’d kicked off the sheets and blankets, and her nightgown had gotten twisted up, exposing her bloomers, one bare leg, and her smooth little belly. Through the light cotton of her drawers, he could see the triangle of her sex, a shadow of pubic hair.

He wasn’t halfway through the bottle when she shifted. Frowning a bit in her sleep, she turned her face away from him, towards the window. Murmuring something too low for him to hear, (it was probably in that foreign jabber of hers anyhow), she stretched out her bent leg and wiggled around a bit, seeking a comfortable position. It occurred to him to wake her then, but for some reason, he did not. Merely observed as her brow furrowed again.

All at once, her limbs jerked as if she’d been electrocuted and she screamed. Without opening her eyes, she began to fight, defending herself from some dread adversary that only she could see. And all the while, she screamed.

Quickly, he set the bottle down. Moving onto the bed, he took her in his arms. “Shhhhh. Chèrie, chèrie, it’s all right. You’re having a bad dream.” He held her tightly, trapping her arms against her sides so she wouldn’t hurt herself—or him. “It’s all right. You’re all right.”

She didn’t appear to hear him, but continued to thrash and cry out, utterly lost to the world. He peered at her for a moment, speculative. Shrugging, he slipped his hand down, into the waistband of her bloomers.

At that, she gasped and jerked again. Then quieted.

Her breasts rose and fell as she breathed deeply once, twice. Her body relaxed, head falling back against his cupped palm. At first, he thought perhaps she’d sunk back into slumber. But then she began to move. Her eyes were still closed, but she was responding to his touch. The muscles of her thighs clenched around his wrist. Her hips began to rock. His fingers worked gently at first, then harder, matching her urgency. She shifted, opening herself to him more fully and he felt the growing wetness, the deep, inner heat of her. She began to make the sweetest little noises, her lips parted in pleasure, and she looked so kissable that he laid her back against the pillows and leaned over her, intending to do just that.

But as he did, her eyelids fluttered. Then opened.

Seeing that it was he, she uttered a cry of disgust. Pushing him off, she scrambled backwards, practically climbing the headboard in her haste to get away.

James bellowed with laughter. “Oho! That brought you right around, didn’t it? And here I thought you’d been exaggerating-- that whole bit about sex acts being grounding? But you weren’t.” Very deliberately, he brought his fingers to his nose and sniffed.

Outraged, she glared at him. She looked like a scalded cat—an observation that only made him laugh harder. Her fist shot out, striking him on the shoulder. “Pig!”

“Ouch!” Still guffawing, he rubbed the sore spot. “No need to get angry. You were enjoying it.”

“I was asleep! I thought I was dreaming!”

“About me?”

“Like you haven’t invaded my dreams before, you perv!”

Smugly, he stood up. “You liked it then, too.”

Alyssa stood as well just so she could shove him again. “Why can’t you stay away from me? Why can’t you leave me alone?”

“I was only trying to help.”

You wanna help me?” she shrieked with sudden ferocity. “THEN FUCKING SEND ME HOME.” With that, she burst into tears. Her body seemed to curl in on itself and she sank back down onto the bed, sobbing.

Shaking his head, James sighed. “When are you going to realize you are home? All this unhappiness—you bring it on yourself, you know. It’s quite unnecessary. Do you hear me? All you have to do is stop. Stop fighting.”

Turning her back to him, she continued to cry, deep, horrible, gulping sobs. Alyssa hated to break down like this in front of him, but she couldn’t help it.

James sat down beside her. For a moment, he said nothing, just stroked her back. She wanted to pull away from him, but she didn’t want to pull away from him. This only made her cry harder...


Tuesday, October 1, 2024

In the King's Power: Part 2 is now available!

 


Part 2 is now available on Amazon! It's $3.99 to purchase, or free with Kindle Unlimited. Read an excerpt here

Part 3 will be available on November 1. I will post an excerpt for it soon. 

Happy Halloween, my friends!



Monday, September 30, 2024

September News

NOMINATION

I got my contributor copy of the 2024 Rhysling Anthology. I had four poems nominated for Rhysling Awards this year, and my poem, "Little Brown Changeling," is a finalist. It was originally published in Aphelion Magazine. Thank you so much to the judges and congrats to my fellow poets.


APPEARANCE

On September 25, I was the featured author on the Muse's Mic, a new literary series by SpoFest, sponsored by Sheila-na-Gig Magazine. It was a great interview - I will share the recording as soon as it is available. Thank you to James Bryant and Sandra Feen for being excellent hosts. 


SCREAMING INTENSIFIES 


The first review for Screaming Intensifies is in! Thank you so much, Richard - so pleased to hear you liked the book! 


I got my author copies of Screaming Intensifies, so if you'd like an autographed copy, hit me up. It's $16 + shipping. I can take PayPal or Venmo. It's the perfect Halloween read!

As always, I will do two books for $20 if you'd like a poetry collection as well.


IN THE KING'S POWER 


Part 1 of In the King's Power dropped on September 1. Read an excerpt here

Part 2 will go live on October 1. The excerpt for it is here

Thank you so much to everyone who has purchased a copy of Part 1 or read it on Kindle Unlimited. The series was a lot of fun to write, and I am going to miss these characters so much. Knowing that some readers are out there enjoying their company brings me such joy.


Thanks, as always, for stopping by this old site! 















Saturday, September 7, 2024

In the King's Power - Part 2 Cover Art and Excerpt

Hello, friends. If you're reading the new In the King's Power series, I hope you enjoyed the beginning. If you haven't read it, Part 1 is available on Kindle Unlimited, purchase for 99 cents. The Part 1 excerpt is here

Now, get ready for Part 2! Excerpt below. I don't think there are any spoilers in this section, but all the same, proceed at your own risk.


Part 2 will be available October 1 on Kindle Unlimited, $3.99 to purchase.


SYNOPSIS

Summer turns to fall. With Leo and Christophe back at school, Alyssa has to figure out ways to fill her time when she’s not dealing with James. (Or worse, Endymion.) Every morning, James demands predictions, and nearly every night, he comes to her room for chess and conversation. He also starts having Alyssa accompany him at court functions, which gets people talking—who is this foreign girl, and why does the King spend so much time with her? The uncomfortable intimacy that develops teaches Alyssa just how cruel James can be—and if it weren’t for Corbenic’s excellent healers, she would have the scars to prove it. It also stokes the attraction that has been simmering away between the two of them.  


EXCERPT

That afternoon, Alyssa was informed that His Wisdom wished her to attend the evening’s banquet. She never knew if it was because of the Clayton is a King conversation, or if it was something James had made up his mind about a long time ago. In either case, she was informed through Clotilde, who looked pleased at the prospect of getting her all gussied up.

The banquets were held nearly every weeknight at the palace. They were meant to be social occasions for the visiting nobility, but, as Alyssa quickly learned, they were just an opportunity for more political dickering.

For her first attendance, Clotilde dressed her in a gown of gold and brown brocade, and gold jewelry with amber gemstones, dark as cognac. When Alyssa was ready, she waited for someone – Henri or Geoff, she presumed -- to come escort her to the dining room.

Instead, when her door opened, it was James who appeared. For dinner, he was wearing a jade-green coat with white embroidery and a satin vest sewn with rubies.

She curtsied. “Your Wisdom.”

As she straightened up, he looked her over approvingly. “I thought we’d make use of your telepathic abilities this evening. Before dinner, there will be a lot of mingling. I want to know if certain parties are lying to me.”

She nodded. “My field commander and I worked out a system to help him win at cards. He’d sit at the table and I’d See what the others were holding. We had signals worked out for when he should go all in, fold, that sort of thing.” She touched her throat. “This meant they were bluffing.” She touched her left ear. “This meant they were cheating.”

Sighing deeply, James’ hand went to his heart. “Ah, chèrie. A soothsayer and a card sharp?” A roguish grin lit up his features. “So, being unable to lie does not preclude other forms of dishonesty? What fascinating implications.”

Biting her lip, Alyssa looked down. Maybe she shouldn’t have said that?

Quickly, James put his arm around her. “It’s all right. I was hoping to work out a similar arrangement. As I said, I want to know if I’m being lied to. It would be helpful to know if someone is concealing something from me as well. Shall we say that this means someone is lying?” Here, he touched her throat. “And this means they’re hiding something?” He touched her ear.

Again, she nodded. His arm was still around her, and he gave her a gentle squeeze. “Good girl.”

Endymion was waiting for them in the hallway. When he saw her on James’ arm, he scowled.

The three of them went downstairs to one of the dining rooms. As far as state soirees went, in Alyssa’s narrow experience, it was a small one-- only fifty or sixty people. The guests eyed her curiously. She was still quite the novelty, the strange foreign girl who was Prince Leopold’s affianced. They were even more curious to see her with the King, who had never shown the slightest interest in any of his daughters-in-law before, or any other woman for that matter.

Over the course of the evening, their curiosity grew. James kept Alyssa close, his hand on her back, or sometimes at the nape of her neck, steering her around. It made her deeply uncomfortable. She caught the looks on Henri and Geoff’s faces. They didn’t like it, either. Not one little bit.

For the meal, she was seated on James’ left, across from Endymion, who took the opportunity to send her some pretty major bitchwaves. She did her best to ignore him since she was on the clock.

Listening in on the King’s conversations was easy work for her-- dull, in fact. She barely listened to the words themselves, just read the intentions behind them. And the lords were easy to fool. She didn’t even have to be subtle with the hand signals. Once the men were engaged in conversation, she became a non-entity. It’s not as if women were expected to join in, much less have an opinion.

Afterwards, James was so pleased with her performance, he gave her a pat on the head before he sent her back to her rooms with Henri. Maybe next time he’d balance a piece of cheese on her nose.

The next night was the same, and the night after that, and the night after that. Clotilde dressed Alyssa often in the Sarpedonne house colors. To her profound relief, they hadn’t stamped the back of her hand yet. (Thia explained that that wouldn’t happen until the marriage ceremony. Wives were stamped on the left hand, mistresses on the right.) Still, Alyssa could see could how puzzling her position must be to everyone. If she was engaged to Leopold, why did the King keep her at his side like that? Why did he put his hands on her as he did?

In the course of listening in on their thoughts, Alyssa discovered that the nobility’s opinions of the King were sharply divided. About a third of the people hated him, a third loved him, and a third were too terrified of him to either truly hate or love him. Hatred and fear she understood, but why did so many people love him?

The short answer was basically the Monty Python song, “What Have the Romans Ever Done for Us?” The Romans are all bastards, they’ve bled us till we’re white… Like the Romans, James had made sure all of the major cities had new water and sewer systems. Filtration dramatically decreased water-borne diseases. He’d also improved the hospitals around the world, subsidizing their operational expenses from the royal treasury. Along with that, he’d ordered the first wide-scale vaccination programs—smallpox, tetanus, cholera, and some others. Healers around the world were developing new treatments. Before James, there hadn’t really been an educational system to speak of. Of course, there was the Great Lodge in the Capital, and all the provinces had at least one Lodge school, but their curriculums were surprisingly disparate. James had worked with the Grand Master to create a standardized curriculum for all the Lodge schools, to endow more scholarships for disadvantaged students. He also set compulsory education for peasant boys through age twelve—reading, writing, arithmetic, and some history and geography. Alyssa gathered that the compulsory part was not as well-enforced as he’d like, but it was a start. And finally, he’d overseen large-scale infrastructure projects. Old roads and bridges underwent repairs and new ones were put in. Cartographers were employed to update maps and atlases. If they weren’t already, all the major cities were put on power grids (fueled by the ley lines, of course). And on and on.

Well, Mussolini made sure the trains ran on time and Hitler loved his dog, Alyssa thought sourly. Though she couldn’t imagine James had done any of those things out of love or compassion. That wasn’t his way. A man like James didn’t want to merely conquer the world; he wanted the world he ruled over to be worthy of him. Still, Alyssa had never expected listening in at the banquets would be so interesting.

That was how she stumbled onto a different thread altogether, from the women. Some of them were sympathetic to her plight. All of them were in arranged marriages. Many of them had been traded for political gain in the wake of James’ wars. Bleeding provinces trying to hold themselves together—what better way to build alliances than with marriages? Some of these women had even been abducted by their current husbands. Alyssa remembered how blasĂ© Rainier had been when he’d asked, He stole you, didn’t he? Like, it was just a thing here, no big deal. Christ.

One evening, James turned loose of Alyssa just long enough for one of the women to approach her. “Good evening, mademoiselle,” she curtsied. “I am Sandrine Adele Bellerophon Taliesin. My husband is Lord Gaspard Taliesin.”

Alyssa curtsied back. “Alyssa Calderon. Nice to meet you.”

Lady Taliesin smiled. “We met before, at your engagement party. I’m sure you don’t remember.” Coming forward, she clasped Alyssa’s arm. Up close, Alyssa could see that she was about twenty-five, though the serious look on her face made her seem much older. “I just want you to know that you’re not alone here. You have friends, if you wish it.”

Alyssa did not get a chance to respond. From behind them came the King’s voice, “Chèrie.

In spite of herself, Alyssa flinched. He was not angry—not yet. But his voice had carried, and the room went silent, breathless. Alyssa turned to see him, holding his hand out to her.

Lady Taliesin whispered, “Just know that you are welcome in our home anytime, my dear.”

Alyssa smiled gratefully, then returned to James’ side. Pulling her close, James glanced at Lady Taliesin, then at her husband, who had joined her.

Lord Taliesin bowed. “Your Wisdom.”

The King gave him the most cursory of nods.

After dinner, James escorted Alyssa from the dining room. As soon as they were out of earshot of any guests, his fingers tightened on her neck. “Don’t do that again.”

“She spoke to me. What was I supposed to do?”

“Keep your mouth shut, for a start. You’re here to listen.”

“I can’t even make friends?”

He snorted. “They’re not your friends; they’ll never be your friends. They’re only interested in you because you’re engaged to Leo. They want to use you to further their own aims.”

“Gosh, what must that be like?”

He turned her roughly to face him. “You’re mine. The only person you need to worry about pleasing around here is me.”

“All right!” she snapped. “I get it.”

“Do you?”

Yes. But could you just, please, maybe, lay off the whole manhandling thing? It’s pretty unnecessary.”

“Evidently, it isn’t. I can’t trust you not to wander off.”

Wander off? I was like five feet away--” She took a deep breath. “Forget it. It’s just… People are starting to talk. It’s why that lady approached me. It has nothing to do with my relationship with Leo or even Henri. But I think you know that.”

“And what conceivable difference could it make to you, what they think?”

“To me?” she shrugged. “Not much. Might mean something to Leo though.”

He let go of her then. His features softened; his eyes grew warm. For a moment, he was so handsome, it was blinding. “Well,” he traced her cheek, ran one fingertip lightly across her lips. “What he doesn’t know won’t hurt him.”

A shiver went through her and she tried to take a step back, but he caught her arm again. “Oh, don’t worry,” he laughed as they continued to the stairs. “As you said, people are already talking. Why validate them?” 








Wednesday, September 4, 2024

Screaming Intensifies is now available!

 NEW RELEASE


My short horror story collection, Screaming Intensifies, is now available in paperback on Amazon for $16.50. Thank you so much to John, Skaja and Scott for making this happen!

Screaming Intensifies is fifteen strange and fantastic tales: A man stranded on a deserted island is menaced by a mermaid. A seemingly idyllic Midwest farm is situated on the edge of a forest where strange creatures dwell. A sin eater attempts to help a man on death row. Demons, ghouls, weird west settings, fairy tale retellings, a horse-headed lady, and more dark imaginings haunt these pages. 

Here is an excerpt from the opening story, "Feather and Scale":

When Ash first glimpsed the mermaid, he thought he was hallucinating.

It was not an unreasonable assumption. He’d been on the island for ninety days now, give or take. He hadn’t kept track at first, his arrival a blur of heat and pounding headaches and denial. It was like he’d left his body and was watching someone else perform one series of grim tasks after another.

Plus, the creature he’d just glimpsed had resembled Jenna. For a second, he’d thought it was Jenna, her copper-bright hair distinct against the blue sea, only about twenty yards off the south side of the island. He’d almost called out to her, but then she’d arched her body in a dolphin dive and he could see where the fair skin graded into silvery scales. He’d watched as she’d disappeared beneath the surface, astonished at the length of her fishy lower body.

He kept the binoculars trained on the reef. A few minutes later, the mermaid emerged again in the shallows, foraging among the sponges and polyps. Her movements reminded him of a deer hovering at the edge of a clearing, nosing around in the clover. The mermaid scooped something out of the water into her mouth. It was too small for him to make out what it was. Her hand had pale, almost translucent webbing between the fingers.

She was there for less than ten minutes. When she finished grazing, she turned and glided back out into the open water. Again, she dove. This time, she did not resurface.

Stunned, he lowered the binoculars. “Whoo, boy, Jenna,” he muttered. “You’re not gonna believe this.”


Happy early Halloween to all!